I need a psychiatrist, what is wrong with me?

If you truly love him take another chance, who knows what wonderful things may be ahead. I really think that with your past and the way you feel you should seek counseling. I've been seeing a counselor for a couple of years now and she really helps me see things as they really are and also helps me resolve the problems in my life. They could help you too. You really need to work out your past so you can get on with your future. If your new man is as great as he sounds he will not only support you in this he'll drive you there. Hugs to you.